Movie Review: Ted 2: Thunder Buddies for Life
Jun 26, 2015 01:22PM
● By Davis Johnson
WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD
The movie starts off with Ted (MacFarlane) marrying girlfriend and fellow cashier, Tamie-Lynn (Jessica Barth). During the post wedding celebrations, Ted tries to comfort a distraught John (Mark Whalberg). John has been divorced for six months and refuses to get back into the dating world, even though women blatantly show interest in him.
The movie flash forwards one year later where Ted and Tamie-Lynn are no longer in a blissful marriage and show bitterness towards each other. Ted is outraged by Tamie-Lynn’s ridiculous spending and Tamie is demeaning towards Ted’s lack of manhood. With some outside help from a fellow co-worker, the unhappy couple decide to have a baby to save their marriage. There’s just one problem, Ted has no way to help sire a child. With an ideal candidate in mind, Ted goes to John’s place for help, where he discovers his friend’s obsession with porn. Ted makes John agree to go out with the next girl he sees.
Their venture has them breaking into Tom Brady’s house and acquire a ‘donation’ while the NFL quarterback is sleeping. Sadly for them, Tom wakes up and throws them out before the job is done. John offers his semen as a replacement and Ted happily accepts. After a tragic accident for John at a sperm bank, Ted and Tamie-Lynn learn that she is infertile due to excessive drug use when she was younger. The two decide to apply for adoption, a decision which comes with unforeseen consequences. Their application puts Ted on the government’s radar, which has him labeled as property since he is not seen as human in the eyes of the law. Ted is then fired from his job, his finances are frozen, his marriage annulled and his Papa John’s loyalty membership revoked.
With hopes of gaining his civil rights, Ted decides to go against the government in open court. With no money, Ted and John look for a lawyer willing to work pro bono. Their hopes plummet when their only option is the inexperienced Samantha Leslie Jackson. They quickly become more open minded after the three bond over their mutual love of pot.
The scene shifts to Ted’s former kidnapper and stalker, Donny (Giovanni Ribisi), now working as a janitor over at Hasbro. When he learns of Ted’s predicament, he manages to convince Hasbro’s CEO to hire the best attorney possible to keep Ted labeled as property. By doing so, Donny hopes to steal Ted and study him to figure out a way to create more living teddy bears.
Due to Hasbro’s interference, Ted loses his case and retains his label as property. Downtrodden and desperate, Ted and company travel to New York City to meet the highly respected civil rights attorney, Patrick Meighan (Morgan Freeman). Due to Ted’s reckless driving, the car winds up lodged in the side of a barn and the group is forced to spend the night. The stay is not fruitless, as John and Samantha confess their mutual attraction for each other and Ted discovers a field of weed.
When they arrive in New York, Patrick is sympathetic towards Ted’s plight but rejects the case as he does not believe Ted has made any contribution towards society. In complete anguish, Ted wanders into Comic Con where he is kidnapped by Donny and must pray that John and Samantha save him.
MacFarland goes out of his way to create comedic satire on such a touchy subject. The movie has an unprecedented amount of cameos, from Liam Neeson playing a mysterious yet threatening tough guy trying buy a box of Trix, to Patrick Warbuton and Michael Dorn as a gay couple who go to Comic Con in costume to bully all the ‘nerds’. Each scene is filled with hilarity as the cast provides plenty of crude humor that may leave some viewers cringing. There are also an abundance of political jokes, most of which are directed towards the left, surprising since MacFarland is a leftist himself. MacFarland also provides powerful scenes on civil rights that allow viewers to think about the past laws and see how far humanity has come, but still has room to learn.
This movie is by no means an Academy Award contender, but if you want plenty of satire, Ted 2 is the perfect choice.